[	mood	|	thoughtful	]
[	music	|	Killswitch Engage CD	]

Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road. Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go. So make the best of this test, and don't ask why. It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time. It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right. I hope you had the time of your life.
So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind. Hang it on a shelf  in good health and good time. Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial. For what it's worth, it was worth all the while. It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right. I hope you had the time of your life.

I can't believe that in Two Days its gunna be January 1. New years is my favorite time of the year, not only because i always spend it with my samantha, but also because its a new year, a new start....i love the word new, it gives you a chance to start completly over (for the most part). Gah this year was sooo hectic. First i went out with Josh Keranovic. I'll keep my comments to myself about that relationship (haha u kno i love you josh). then there was jose...march 21,2004. i don't even feel like going into details about this relationship, i don't feel like talking abotu it much. I learned so much from it though, i don't want to live with regrets...just take the lessons that come out of each situation. So This new years i'm looking foward to better then anyother one that has come about, its like all the other yeras i've been completly blind to whats going on the world..and now its like my eyes are open, and they want sooo badly to shut again.  I've become more aware of life, and i would in a heartbeat be 7 years old again. i hate growing up its the worst thing ever. and to think....that in a few years i'm going to be introduced to another part of life...and my eyes are going to open up a little bit more, i'm scared for my future, i don't know what i'm going to end up doing i want to be so manythings, and do so manythings, and help so many people. life is to short...so this year i'm making it my goal to have fun, to live life, to smile, to help, to learn, to encourage, to be.

Happy new years everyone

i hope its a good one

<3Martha

[	mood	|	recumbent	]
[	music	|	rascal flatts-see me through	]

well tonight i went to amy mcpeters wedding, it was so nice she is so georgeous. when me and my mom were getting ready to leave i ran into one of my old teachers..first grade teacher and he was like oh my gosh martha you've grown up so much i hardly recognized you and stuff. and we started talking bout those days...and its just had me thinking all night long, and its just kinda sad u know? i miss the old days. some parts i never want to repeat again, but at the same time your so innocent  and you are yeah...just a kid, its like no drama or anything like that you know...you have all these hopes and dreams of your future and you never realize that it isn't going to turn out that way. and love, wow love...i didn't know what love was when i was like 6 years old...but then again do i even know what love is now? we always smiled, and laughed and nothing ever really got to us, but then again we didn't really understand a lot the more you know, the more you hurt.  its like you were living in a fantasy world, then at some point you step into reality. i don't really know when reality hit me, i wish i was still living in that fantasy world. it just feels like i'm sitting here and watching life pass me by, its going on without me...i look back now and i'm like i never really did anything big or important, never made an impact on anyones life and never really got out and did that...i don't just want to be that..i want to be able to get out there...to make a difference, i don't want to get to be 87 and be like well hell, where did my life go?  i want to fit in, to find my group of friends that i stick with and i don't fall apart from, right now its like i have few good good friends, everyone is just kind of an aquantence...i'm waiting for my life to begin; its like everything right now is just leading up to my life...i don't want to miss out on anything but anyways, my brothers yelling at me to get off the computer...sorry for the weird jumbled up post...just kinda some thoughts of mine

don't let your life pass you by, weep not for the memories

<3martha